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The Word of Deadspook

Preteniousness and Arrogance Unbound

L's Smirking Revenge
23 January 1983
External Services:
  • deadspook@livejournal.com
  • Lokean Soul AIM status
"Well I dig modding cars and football(GO CHARGERS!!) and meeting hot chicks and going to parties. I love my frat (PHI BETA OMEGA BABY! rEPRESENT!), Papa Roach, Dubya(cuz he's a hard ass that don't take crap) and I started this thing so I can bitch about people who think they're better than me and the girls I like. W00000000T!!!"

Well, I guess that's a pretty accurate mini-biography if you rip out my frontal lobe with a fish hook, deep fry it until it's crispy, and stick it back in with some crazy glue and a few strips of duct tape.

With a healthy frontal lobe, i'm a pretty complex person. It took me a long time to come to terms with, but you know those people that are gifted with intelligence to the point where they are just a little...eh..."quirky"? Yeah, I drew those cards in the genetic card shuffle. Some say "genius" but i'll let you make that call.
There's roughly two different kinds of brilliant people...lefties and righties (nothing phsically to do with sides of the brain.) Lefty brilliant people are amazing at methodically building things, memorizing, and comprehending pre-established orderly things so they can theorize the next logical step. These people are often amazing at math, certain sciences such as chemistry, computers, and trivia...2+2=4 stuff. But often are unemotional and struggle to even comphrehend the basics of human social dynamics, literature, philosophy, and the strongly abstract, which often leaves these brilliant people gullible, naive of many things, and other behaviors which have built a "absent minded professor" pattern. Then, there's the Righty brilliant people. Creative, "out of the box", and full of ideas to a fault, they are constantly pumping out new angles, thoughts, solutions, and expressions fueled by a passionate curiousity and desire. It's something they can't stop and you can see that in the fact they can't finish one project without jumping to another(being halfway through 6 books at a time)and always rushing through learning theory so they can get to the practical. Passion for knowledge requires a strong set of critical thinking skills and you will find these people are quick to criticize others thoughts and work and can be very difficult to manipulate. Where the lefty's excell at mastering one isolated thing to an extreme, the righty's are masters of see the interconnection and interaction of multiple parts, which often expresses itself in exceptional ability in the arts, social sciences, certain physics and the abstract which requires an ability to look at things from all angles and see the whole picture though only being given a tiny piece. Where the leftys are only exposed to concreteness of the world around them, the rightys are forceibly shoved into a world that is full of paradox, incompleteness and ambiguity...a black and white world that causes comfortable naivity versus a painfully grey world that is difficult to cope with. So, those that tend to the right are much more likely to have emotional problems as the human emotional framework is not designed to deal with a grey world, which leads directly to emotional self-defense mechanisms, self-destructive behavior, and conditioning oneself to hold back one's natural intellectual gifts to avoid further pain.

I've met lefty's and i've met other righty's and I use my gift time and time again to very effectively and almost reflexively understand how they work so I can better understand how I work. Without strong lefty skills and emotional fortitude, the righty's tend to lose they're curiousity and passion and revolve their lives and phiosophies around their emotional needs and problems, which inevitably limits them.
If you want to know me, the essential "that which is me", know that I am,though i've got some strong left tools(people are almost always a mix), I am far far far to the right extreme and my speciality revolves around the human mind and behavior. I was young when I developed a sense of the "grey" and the degree of which I was to the right seriously emotionally fucked me up. But, as I got older I developed the emotional framework to cope with the consciousness and it left me free to explore my potential.
Without the leash, my curiosity and creativity grew into a force onto itself. It keeps me up at night and keeps me from sleeping, I'm constantly getting lost in my own thoughts and can't pay attention to things I need to, I can never finish work until just before the due date because I'm chasing other things, if I don't write it builds up in the back of my head to sometimes being uncomfortable, I go through "knowledge-binges" where i'll read books in one sitting or have seven hour conversations despite harming my other priorities, struggle to learn purely theoretical things like math that I can't connect to a larger framework...and it's building this massive larger knowledge-framework that my mind, whether I like it or not, drives toward.
It can be a difficult place to be...i'm never quite comfortable with the lefty's because of their general lack of lucidity, and I'm never quite comfortable with most righty's because of their emotional issues and tendency to insist that everything is so subjective, which inevitably causes conflict. And the "need-not-apply" like brainless frat boys and hyper-supficial self-conscious idiotic girls I just don't quite seem to get along with to put it lightly.
That's me. Not nearly all of me, but as good a start you're going to get.

Here's where I keep most my writings: